i think i'm ready to talk about this.

I rarely get embarrassed.  Nothing really embarrasses me because I realize, no one cares.
Do I care if someone trips over their own two feet?  No, I don't.  People are too worried about what they are doing to care about you, not in a bad way, thats just how it is.  So I really don't ever get embarrassed because even if I was, no one else probably noticed.
OK, well that is until this happened.  Its been probably a year, and I just remembered it so I guess I'm ready to talk about it.  Embarrassing isn't even the word.  Mortifying, maybe.  And its so stupid it should be documented.  Shepherd Nash, you are welcome.

OK, back when I was working, I had to cart my breast pump to work every day.  Talk about an ordeal, but thats not the point of this story.  About three times a day I would have to hook myself up and pump.  I had a special bra to pump in that I would wear, that lets just say if you want to look absolutely ridiculous get yourself one of these.  

Now, I know this is where I went wrong.  I never locked my door to my office.  Because we were in a basement and I didn't have any windows and I had an irrational fear that I would lock myself in and get stuck and the building would catch on fire or something.  But I worked with all women so what did I care to lock the door.  Plus they all knew I was pumping so no one ever bothered me.  Except my best friend who worked with me would sometimes come in and chat, again, I have no shame lol.

OK, so one day I'm in my office, all hooked up in my stupid bra, which you should know meant I had to take my shirt off to put it on obviously.  So I'm sitting there at my desk, half naked with a breast pump working away, while I'm probably playing solitaire or something, and in an instant there is a knock on my door.  Without waiting for me to say anything, literally why even knock, in walks this 50ish year old man who I didn't realize was visiting from another office.  He froze, I froze.  Oh my gosh. I am remembering.  He stammers he's sorry and beelines it out of there.  What could I do.  I mean. Oh you should also know his side job was a preacher at some Eastern Ky southern baptist church.  Icing.
After I was finished I think I emailed my coworker to make sure he was gone.  I walked out of my office and every single co worker was just like, Oh my gosh did that just happen?  
Ok then, to make it worse!  He calls the office, to apologize!  I mean, can't we just never talk about it again.  

So there you have it.  I mean...really.

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