Passing Time

For the past 3 days, Joey has put Shepherd to bed at night.  Thats always been my thing.  Joey would give him a bath, do his little bedtime routine, diaper, lotion, pajamas on.  Then he would give him to me and I would rock him and nurse him until he was asleep.  Friday night I wanted to go to dinner with a friend, but that meant I would miss bedtime.  I was a little nervous to leave, not because Joey wasn't capable, but because it was just my thing.  I imagined Shepherd crying for hours without me.  Well I met my friend at 8, at 8:06 Joey called me and said Shep was sound asleep.  The next night we decided to let Joey put him to bed again.  I honestly thought maybe it was a fluke the night before.  That Shepherd went to bed so easily because he knew I wasn't there, but that knowing I was in the next room he would insist on me rocking him.  Nope.  Again, sound asleep within 5 minutes.  I laid in bed and cried.  It just felt wrong to not nurse him before bed.  He's just growing up so fast.  I'm relieved he will go to sleep for someone other than me, and honestly its better for both of us.  Thats a lot to take, having to be the one to put him to bed every single night at 8:00, and made it hard for me to ever do anything at night.  When I put him to bed it was always a longer process, he would cry as soon as I put him in the crib and want me to hold him, or just stand there rubbing his back.  Its better for him to go right to sleep and not drag it out.  And maybe now Joey and I can have date night without having to eat an early bird dinner to be back before bed, or go to dinner at 9:00 after he's asleep.

Time is so bittersweet, but what is the alternative?  I'm thankful for a growing changing boy. But I will look back on these days and wish I could have them again.

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