The story of how my 2 year old went to a plastic surgeon and came home naked


So Wednesday morning Shep was sitting in a dining room chair and somehow fell off.  I saw him do it and honestly thought he was fine.  My mom is staying with us this week and I actually said as I went to him, "I think he's fine."  Well then I picked that poor baby up and blood was gushing out of his forehead.  After we got the bleeding to stop and him calmed down, we realized it was a pretty deep cut and he could need stitches.  I called his pediatrician and she said I could bring him in for her to determine he definitely needed stitches before we sat in the ER all day.
We hurried out the door (thank goodness my mom was there to stay at the house) and went to her office.  As soon as I took the bandaid off (not fun) she said he definitely needed stitches.

I LOVE our pediatrician.  She is actually Joey's tennis coach.  She offered to get us in with a plastic surgeon so that we wouldn't have to go to the Emergency Room.
So now Shep and I are headed to the plastic surgeon.  I knew it was going to be mildly embarrassing, considering we just rushed out the door and Shep was in his pajamas and I literally have no idea the last time I washed my hair.
Well we get there and it is just what you'd expect a plastic surgeons office to look like.  Fancy waiting room, pretty receptionist, Botox brochures...we were not their regular clientele.
I am so thankful we were the only people in the waiting room, as my child ran in circles around it, with his open wound because we had taken the bandaid off at the doctor's office.  I made the mistake of laughing when he pressed his face against a glass window, so now he is basically licking the walls.  I'm sure they were in the back office calling our pediatrician and asking her to no longer give them referrals.

We've been waiting nearly 45 minutes when Shepherd decides to poop.  He poops maybe once a day, but of course it has to be in this fancy waiting room where I have no choice but to change him on the floor.  Again thank God no one else was in this room.
I lay him down on the changing pad on the floor.  I go over my data plan just to let him watch YouTube videos so he will stay still long enough to change his diaper.
I unzip his pajamas and..."um why is my child not wearing a diaper?!"  I wish I could have seen my face.  I was MORTIFIED and so confused.  I realize his diaper has come completely off and slid down his leg, and is stuck in the footie of his pj's.  So there is POOP all over my child, in the fancy schmancy waiting room.  POOP, you guys!  And I am positive they will be calling us back any minute.
Of course, I do not have a change of clothes for him.  I'm lucky I had wipes and an extra diaper.  Even if we hadn't been rushing out the door, I'm not always the most prepared.
So I'm scrubbing poop off of him, and have no choice but for him to just not wear any clothes.  And of course I was right, as I'm getting him cleaned up they call us back.  At least I had thrown away the dirty diaper.  I'm sure they have not seen anything like us in there before.

Shep was very brave getting his stitches.  He had to have four.  They had to put him on a papoose board and strap him down.  Poor baby.
We go back on Wednesday to have them removed and you better believe we will be gussied up, haha!
They won't recognize us with clean hair and a clean butt ;)

P.S.
This is his bruise::
Also, the Hello Kitty bandaid is from the doctor.  I took him to pick out his own and now he has Jake the Pirate bandaids!

Also:
In a show of solidarity, his BFF Grayson and Mickey Mouse decided to wear bandaids, too.  They were not thrilled with my attempt to force them to take a picture.


Share

No comments:

Post a Comment