I never put Shepherd to bed anymore, Joey is in charge of him and I am in charge of Major. But awhile back Joey had to work late, so I put Shep to bed. Its rare for me to have real alone, quiet time with just me and Shepherd anymore. So that night as I rocked him to sleep, I sat there holding and nursing him, his sweet little sweaty head, and just wept. I told him sometimes people cry because they are so happy, and I was crying because I loved him so much. One day we won't live in this house anymore. The home we brought our babies home to. The home where we lovingly set up their rooms, just for them and hand picked each little special item. Stuff like that makes me so nostalgic and it hasn't even happened yet. When I was putting him to bed that night, I could close my eyes and picture the exact way the furniture was set up when we brought him home, how I felt waking every few hours in the middle of the night, just me and him. I remember being pregnant with Shepherd, and Joey and I were at Target one night. They had that giant turtle for sale and there were a few animals to choose from. We couldn't decide which one we liked the best, but chose the turtle. Now its my baby's pillow. All of those stuffed toys are his "friends." Joey puts Shepherd to bed every night, but as he is getting his pajamas on I clean up his room and arrange all of his "friends" just so. I know just where they go, who sits by who. Its silly but its just a special little mama job and I love it.
(I took this picture awhile ago and we've since kicked the paci habit...but that one was his favorite. He had a blue one too, and he called them his "blue and green brown pacis." He had to have them both to sleep.)
Reminds me of this post!