5 minutes in my life






(These pictures are unrelated to my story, other than they sum up another 5 minutes! Little boys are destructive!)

Here is a summary of 5 minutes of actual happenings from a few days ago.  Multiply those 5 minutes by the 10 hours Joey is at work and you will know what our house looks like on any given day.

Make two attempts to pee and Major runs in screaming and pulling at me to go with him, only to stand in front of the tv because he doesn't actually need anything.

Remember I was doing laundry and go to empty dryer.  
Oh, there are those work khakis Joey told me about this morning, that I've washed 10 times because I never get them out before they're wrinkled beyond what the iron can repair.  
I take them out and walk them back to my bedroom, to lay them out so they don't wrinkle.

Head back to laundry, Major wants a drink.
Get him a drink.
No, he doesn't, DOES NOT, want that cup.
NO NOT THAT CUP EITHER.
I give up, he can be thirsty.
This does not go over well.

Go back to laundry.
Oh there were two pairs of khakis.

Begin putting washer clothes into dryer.
Shep announces he has to poop. 
Follow him to potty.  
Cheer on the pooping.
Wipe his butt.
Flush his poop, we all wave bye bye to the poop.
"MOM I WANTED TO BE THE ONE TO FLUSH!"
Clean out his potty and put it back together.

Go to wash hands. 
We are out of soap in the bathroom.
Walk to kitchen to wash my hands.
Give up on washing boys hands.
Go back to bathroom.
I still need to pee and I'm also still in my robe.

Shep announces, he needs to poop. Again.
Repeat the whole poop thing. Wipe, flush, clean.
Should have brought soap to the bathroom.
Walk to kitchen to wash my hands.

Back to bathroom.
Major brings me a book and wants me to read it.
I tell him to give me just a second.
He immediately empties 3 drawers full of bathroom stuff, including half a roll of floss.
I let him play with scissors while I pee.
We're out of toiler paper in this bathroom.

The End.
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