Today's Thoughts

Three kids is H. A. R. D. It's kicking my butt. I've said before going from two to three has been my hardest transition and it's still true. So many nights I go to bed, praying for grace and to do a better job tomorrow.

I feel like I live in a koi pond, except instead of fish swimming around me, it's kids, and they all want a snack. 

Something I've noticed about myself is that I always hit my breaking point when it's almost over. Sometimes I hit a breaking point after it's over, from the pure stress of holding it together. I hit a breaking point last night. We went to the new house to meet with a contractor and talk about a few things we wanted to do. Before he got there Joey and I were trying to envision what we wanted and Joey was excited to talk about it, and I was like, I'm sorry I literally can't even make sense of the words coming out of your mouth. Like, my mind doesss nottt folllloww. The three kids running circles around my feet are too distracting. I'm super introverted, as in, I need some quiet alone time every day or I can't function. That will sound weird to anyone who is not the same way, but trust me, I know I'm not alone. (People confuse introverted with shy. I'm not shy, I just want to be alone!) Since 7am I've had three tiny people wallering me and asking for things and non stop noise. I can't.  My mind cannot get to a place of thinking without first having a minute of quiet. 

We have been living in complete chaos for two months. The finish line right now is getting into our new house. Its almost over. We're in a "furnished" apartment and we have none of our stuff. The boys are sleeping in the walk in closet on a mattress on the floor. 
I'm pretty sure if it were possible my boys would turn into chicken nuggets and iPads for how much they've had of both over the last two months. 
Since flying back to Kentucky on September 2nd, we've had TWO home cooked meals. Two. Spaghetti and tacos. We've eaten out, mainly fast food, for every meal.

I'm. Losing. My. Mind. 


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